Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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