Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
