i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
