PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Apparently you make a good broom.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
