epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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