if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
