I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
40s are totally the cure
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
