guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
