Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
