awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
