chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Who did Billy Mays play for?
it was like eating out sand paper
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i drank out of a bidet.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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