Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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