There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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