I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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