Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
