We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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