Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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