Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
