:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
