Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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