She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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