I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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