how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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