You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
