I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
two words...techno handjob
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
