I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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