just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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