just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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