So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I have fence marks all over my body
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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