I want to stick my p in your. b.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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