I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
