im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
