they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just cropdusted the office
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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