Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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