I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
