you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
