Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
