Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
