oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
