You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
