I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
