maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Randomize
