So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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