We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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