we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
