Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
