We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
