he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My boob is missing a layer of skin
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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