I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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