The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
